Finding You ....

I have a friend who is newly separated from her hubby and she is having a hard time of it. She often wonders where it all went wrong. We talk about how he was with her and I find that we women loose ourselves in our husbands. He married a beautiful, confident, vibrant woman and then preceded to start changing who she was. He requested that she loose weight, change her hair color, wear more conservative clothing and stop smoking. (the last thing I'm glad she did) So to make him happy she did all these things and that still was not enough for him. He had to control what she ate and didn't like to do anything she was interested in. Basically it was all about him! So now she is broken and thinks she is not attractive when she is beautiful. She forgot who she was before she met him all those years ago. Now she is in the process of finding out who she is now. My suggestion is to get out and meet people. Go places you wanted to go but he never did. Do things you wanted to do but he never would. Learn how to be completely happy being by yourself. Once you do that you will have healed yourself. You will know what it is and what it isn't that you want in a new guy. And the old guy will be kicking himself for letting you go and any changes you make will be for yourself not anyone else.

Speak On It .....

Don't Be A Follower

I speak to my daughter all the time about this particular topic and it is one I find children today have almost no concept of and that is being there own person. Now a days everyone looks the same, now don't get me wrong we all have had our trends to follow but put your own twist on it, make it your own. I say this cause, as you can guess, I was not a follower. Name brands were not so important to me. Maybe because I was a military brat. I traveled to many different places and you find the "fashion" for that particular area is different from where I had last lived. I gave up on trying to figure it out and just did my own thing. Some people liked it and some people didn't but I didn't care so much. I thought I looked pretty good and eventually it was not even noticed I was just ME. So I encourage all young girls to JUST BE YOU!! Try to figure out what you like and add a little you to the mix, that way you are not so off the wall but you are still an original. Because who wants to be a carbon copy of someone else? Hey the trends had to start somewhere from someone right? Why not let it be you....

Speak On It .......

He Loves You When ....

So ladies I get this question from my single friends and even my teenage daughter has asked it. How do I know when he loves me? I, however, was not to sure what to say to that one. I thought well it depends on what you measure love as, for example, when I'm tired my husband rubs my feet and legs even if they smell like corn chips ;-) NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL LOVE!!! For me it's the little things he does not so much the flowers, candy, and fancy jewelry. It's when I come home from work he's made my favorite meal or has picked up the kids for me. I think you can tell he loves you when he does things for you he would not do for anyone else that's what makes it special.
Also I told my daughter don't confuse love with lust or like those can be some strong emotions too. They have a way of making you think you're in love. Now the question I am posing is what is your definition of love. I think once you have a clear definition of what is special to you (let's not make it about the usual things) then you can say yeah my guy does that for me therefore he must really love me.

Speak On It ....