All about the money

I am sitting here thinking about where I am financially and looking over my budget which is about to get substantially smaller.
When I was let go from my previous job I received a small severance package.
I lasted about two and a half months and now I am strictly on unemployment insurance.
Now I have to figure out how to pay bills and maintain my house hold of five on a ONE person income and my weekly check.
THIS is going to be interesting.
While I was getting my severance I was paying down the credit cards.
Got a few paid off and a couple less then half left to go.
GO ME!!
I have been staying home not riding around much to save gas too.
I have become a coupon RE-RE.
I am printing and clipping and shopping. 
Shopping for the sales and God Bless the Commissary!
GO ME!!
I have taken on a project to help someone close to me who just moved into their 1st apartment at 60yrs of age.
I am proud of her doing it on her own at this age in her life.  She has always lived with her S/O's and now is doing her thing.
GO HER!!!
I love me some decorating and doing it on a budget is my forte.  I except your challenge!
GO ME!!!!

This is what I've been up too.  Not too much but enough.

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Conversations with my Daughter

I just had a good conversation with my daughter about one of her friends.  Her friend just became "best friends"  with a attention seeking, needy, drama queen (her words) they both go to school with.  My daughter is concerned that her friend is getting all caught up in this girls drama filled life.  She has tried talking to her friend and telling her to leave the drama girl alone but to no avail. 

As Be Be's mama I told her "You said what you had to say now leave it alone.  Some people need to learn the hard way."  Like me, my child don't do the drama.  She's sad about losing a friend over this girl but she done told her friend how she felt about drama girl and well it's up to her to decide who she wants to hang around.

Teen Drama!  I do love that my baby can talk to me about it!

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Parenting 1.0.What?

Parents behaving badly!  I'm sitting here watching the Wendy Williams Show 'HOW YOU DOING' and she is talking about the Lohans parental skills or lack there of. 

Well that got me to thinking about my kids.  I always get compliments on how well mannered my girls are and how helpful they are.  I always find that a little funny because this is how I think all kids should be.  Right?  Well it looks like that is not the case.  BeBe, my oldest, has a few girlfriends that I am always mothering.  Telling them what is acceptable or not.  Luckily the parents don't mind cause I treat them like my own.  If I see them on Face book late at night I will tell them to get their but off the computer. 

So as a mother of a 16yr old girl I am feeling the need to have a meeting with her and her besties.  I really see a short fall of communication, not with THEIR parents but just in general with the adults in their lives.  The teachers, councilors and other parents are not talking to them about what they should be doing and how they should be acting as young ladies.  I know I am forever checking e-mails and text messages.  I call the schools and talk to the teachers of all my girls.  They know mommy is involved in what they have going on.  I am there for after school practices, the games and concerts.  I know that some parents may not have the time to do it.  Some of my daughters friends parents don't which is why I'm there rooting them on and taking pictures for their moms and dads.  It is so true it takes a village.  Hey when I'm not able to go for whatever reason you better believe I'm getting a e-mail with pictures in my inbox or on my cell phone.  I love that I have created a network around my kids.  Big shout out to Kim, Norman, Clinton and Deborah!!! 

This is what I am proposing to do during the summertime and my daughter is all for it.  I will gather up all of my daughters good friends and take them for a day of talking, learning, eating and fun.  I want to talk to them about boys, sex, self control, self love, school, responsibility, personal finance ..... yes all of these things.  I talk to my daughter bout this kind of stuff all the time and when she talks to her friends they usually have little or no idea what she's talking about.  All of these young ladies will be graduating from school in 2012 and I fear they will not be prepared for the real world.  I know I wasn't.  I didn't know what options I had.  I just want better for my girls.  ALL my girls.

All Cried Out

I'm not quite over my pitty party just yet but "I'm All Cried OUT"...I am mourning the loss of this house and my job all at once.  It was a bit much to take.  I asked my hubby "why does it always happen?"  I mean we will get to a place where we are doing well here and something life changing will happen and mess us all up.

Several years back my husband was diagnosed with diabetes.  He was VERY sick and was out on short term disability for 3 months to recover.  He gets back to work and the co. he gave 10yrs to fires him after being back 30dys.  In those 10yrs he had NEVER received a bad review, never been written up.  He couldn't find a job.  The economy was tanking. 

About 1yr later he finds a GOOD job working for D.E.L.L.
As their store manager.  He was feeling better about himself.  He was running thangs.  I was proud of him.  BUT after 15 months of having a store they close it down.  Poof no job.  He couldn't find a job.  The economy was in the crapper. 

So I get a temp job while Dre was running his store.  It became perminate because I told them hubby lost his job I need the benefits of a full time job.  I need health insurance.  So they offered me the job and I took it.  As the economy and the housing market tanked they started letting people go.  It was mass layoffs.  I was the last hired so I figured they would chuck me.  I should have been looking then.  I made it through the 1st, 2nd and 3rd round.  I thought I had made it.  Then yesterday happened. 3/18/10.  I.WAS.LET.GO.

So all the house hunting and prep. must have been a test run for the real thing.  When ever that is. I am trying to keep my head up and press on.  ALL.MY.LIFE.I'S.HAD.TO.FIGHT!!!
And I'm going to keep on fighting. 

Speak on it ....

The Madison -UPDATED!!!!!!!

What the front of MY house will look like! 
This is what my house WAS going to look like.  As of today I am like many in America .....  UNEMPLOYED!  I am in shock!  I am going to have my pitty- party.  Then I'm going to get on the grind again.  This is just a dream DEFERRED.  I will own this!

I honestly never thought this day would happen. APPARENTLY IT'S NOT GOING TOO.  I have dreamed about owning my own home ever since I got married in '95.  BUT as a young couple starting out, with two babies  and two sucky ass jobs it wasn't going to happen.

We have been renting for 12 yrs now, yeah I know  =l  LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE A FEW MORE YEARS.

We have had a few opportunities to purchase mobile homes or modular homes and place it on the land we live on now but it never seemed to work out.  Which was good because we have had some financial setbacks.  Pregnancy, job loss, illness and lastly FEAR.  All of these things have prevented us from moving forward.  AND NOW MY CURRENT JOB LOSE IS PREVENTING US FROM MOVING FORWARD! SSHHHHEEEESH WE JUST CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!


We realized that this time, RIGHT NOW, was the best time for us to do it. SCRATCH THAT NOW IS NOT THE BEST TIME!  We are not afraid.  I am so proud of us.  We have worked really hard to get our financial house in order.  Now the fruits of our labor are being realized.  AND HAVE NOW BEEN SNATCHED OUT MY HAND.

You know my crazy behind is going to be posting pictures of the construction right?  I'm straight scrap-booking this whole event.  *** Speaking with a straight face***  PppppsSssT  TASHA I'm gonna need your Circut ASAP!!  GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT POSTAGE.

I will want to look back at it, I'm sure, because right now it's so hard to REALLY enjoy this process.  Awe I'm kinda getting emotional y'all.  THIS PART IS TRUE.  RIGHT NOW IT IS TAKING EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO JUST GIVE UP.  I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN KICKED IN THE GUT!  I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN THE DISAPPOINTMENT MY CHILDREN ARE FEELING AND LORD KNOWS THAT IS KILLING ME.  WHICH IS WHY I WILL NOT GIVE UP.  I MAY MISS THE TAX CREDIT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I STILL CAN'T GET A HOUSE IT JUST MEANS I WILL HAVE TO WAIT A LITTLE WHILE LONGER.

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Help!

Boy oh boy looking for a house is hard work!  I am mentally exhausted.  I mean I got e-mails flying from my broker and e-mails from my Realtor with MLS listings.  I hope we find something we can both agree on soon.  I'm pooped and going to soak and get to bed.  It's raining here and that's some good sleeping weather. 

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Hot Topic - Family Dynamics

A co-worker expressed anger when her son called his mother-in-law MOM.  So that got me to thinking and well it took me a long time to call my in-law MOM.  For me it wasn't because I disliked her or anything it was just because everyone called he by her nickname so I did too. 
So my question is: Do you call your in-law MOM or DAD and does you parent get angry or upset when you do?

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Girls Night Out!

I love spending time with my girls!  I think it is important for a mom to do.  I think dad should do it too.  Have a date night with the kiddies, just you and them.  So I took my girls out on a dinner date last week Friday and we had a ball.  Incase you didn't know my girls are FUN.TAY!!

Dee

Lil Mama

BeBe

The Loves of my life!!

How to YOU spend quality time with the kiddies?  Do you date them?

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Reflection

As I've gotten older I look back at the way my life has unfolded. Most of it I am happy with the outcome. some of it I wonder if I made the right decisions. I feel like I'm not where I should be. So now that the kids are older, hell I got one about to go off to college, I am ready to make a life change for myself and my family.

Treading water is getting old! Time to move on and blaze a new trail. Who knows it could be the best thing for all of us and well we won't know until we try. I think it would be a fun new adventure. Hubby on the other had I'm not so sure he feels that way. I know he's ready to do something different but HOW different IDK. He is a creature of habit. Nuff said. So I will keep you posted and we'll see how it goes.

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What about YOUR friends???

I have purged you from life because of what I call being a fake-ass. My so-called friend of 10 yrs. just stopped talking to me. Poof just like that one week we were good and the next nothing. No people this is not the first time this person has done this. She has suddenly become too busy or is caught up in some dude and I won't hear from her for months. Then after 3, 5, 7 months later I get a e-mail or phone call explaining the new drama that has befallen her life. Now I would listen and comfort her and help her threw all the craziness. Then when life is so-called good for her poof she gone and we are starting all over again. What I fine rather funny is each time she pulls a vanishing act she befriends a person she KNOWS I can't stand to be around. I guess it's supposed to make me mad or jealous. We in the beginning that shit hurt my feelings. I was mad a hell about it. She would do all kinds of things to help or be there for these heffa-cats who never meant her no good. I just didn't get it but she was my besty and I loved her like a DNA sister so when she'd come back I'd over look it. I missed her and the fun we had together.
BUT
I.AM.DONE!
I am tired of it. People outside of this friendship saw it and wondered why I kept her as a friend when she was not a true friend to me. I guess just like when you have a man you hope they change, that they mean it THIS time. I was the the girlfriend scorned. lol
We are on the outs and I truly ok with not seeing her. Now what bothers me a itty bit is the fact that she is hanging with someone she doesn't really like, like that and who ABSOLUTELY I CAN'T STAND !!!!! That is irking the be.shait.ness out of me. Why? Because I can't stand this heffa!!! Ok ok I know why do I even care. Cause the itch lives next door.

Woosaaaa !

Got a faker story purge

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Goals for 2010

New Years Resolutions. Do you do them? Do you keep them? I know I never do all of them but I do try. I am not big on making ones I know I will not keep like Going to church more or trying to fix what some people have told me are my flaws. Yeah sounds a bit selfish. Maybe so. I just KNOW me and I know I'm not going to do it so why kid myself.

What I do is make goals. Goals that are attainable. I put benchmarks in there letting me know I'm headed in the right direction. I like a goal vs a resolution. It's sounds more challenging to me. So here are a list of 2010 goals and in 2011 I will look back and see how many I was able to achieve.

1. Pay off ALL Credit Card Debt.
2. Apply for my first home loan
3. Look for a house that I can afford AND I like. (no use buying something you don't want)
4. Close on my house before April 30Th. A sister wants that $8 G's
5. Move in!
6. Complete all required classes and be certified in A.I. by the end on 2010!
7. Compete on 99 Designs and Win!!!!!
8. Start looking for Graphic Design Jobs. I am changing my career field!
9. Go on a family vacation .... somewhere the liked will love!
10. Take my hubby to Vegas!

I think some of these are going to be pretty challenging for ME maybe not you but for ME it will be. See I have let fear hold me back and I am not any longer! I am going to go for it and let the chips fall where they may. God willing they will all fall in my favor!

- Yolei

Finding You ....

I have a friend who is newly separated from her hubby and she is having a hard time of it. She often wonders where it all went wrong. We talk about how he was with her and I find that we women loose ourselves in our husbands. He married a beautiful, confident, vibrant woman and then preceded to start changing who she was. He requested that she loose weight, change her hair color, wear more conservative clothing and stop smoking. (the last thing I'm glad she did) So to make him happy she did all these things and that still was not enough for him. He had to control what she ate and didn't like to do anything she was interested in. Basically it was all about him! So now she is broken and thinks she is not attractive when she is beautiful. She forgot who she was before she met him all those years ago. Now she is in the process of finding out who she is now. My suggestion is to get out and meet people. Go places you wanted to go but he never did. Do things you wanted to do but he never would. Learn how to be completely happy being by yourself. Once you do that you will have healed yourself. You will know what it is and what it isn't that you want in a new guy. And the old guy will be kicking himself for letting you go and any changes you make will be for yourself not anyone else.

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Don't Be A Follower

I speak to my daughter all the time about this particular topic and it is one I find children today have almost no concept of and that is being there own person. Now a days everyone looks the same, now don't get me wrong we all have had our trends to follow but put your own twist on it, make it your own. I say this cause, as you can guess, I was not a follower. Name brands were not so important to me. Maybe because I was a military brat. I traveled to many different places and you find the "fashion" for that particular area is different from where I had last lived. I gave up on trying to figure it out and just did my own thing. Some people liked it and some people didn't but I didn't care so much. I thought I looked pretty good and eventually it was not even noticed I was just ME. So I encourage all young girls to JUST BE YOU!! Try to figure out what you like and add a little you to the mix, that way you are not so off the wall but you are still an original. Because who wants to be a carbon copy of someone else? Hey the trends had to start somewhere from someone right? Why not let it be you....

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He Loves You When ....

So ladies I get this question from my single friends and even my teenage daughter has asked it. How do I know when he loves me? I, however, was not to sure what to say to that one. I thought well it depends on what you measure love as, for example, when I'm tired my husband rubs my feet and legs even if they smell like corn chips ;-) NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL LOVE!!! For me it's the little things he does not so much the flowers, candy, and fancy jewelry. It's when I come home from work he's made my favorite meal or has picked up the kids for me. I think you can tell he loves you when he does things for you he would not do for anyone else that's what makes it special.
Also I told my daughter don't confuse love with lust or like those can be some strong emotions too. They have a way of making you think you're in love. Now the question I am posing is what is your definition of love. I think once you have a clear definition of what is special to you (let's not make it about the usual things) then you can say yeah my guy does that for me therefore he must really love me.

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